Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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