some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize