the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
