Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Randomize
