Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
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