I feel great
I just peed on a car
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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