he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
