my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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