And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
