The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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