I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
