A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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