I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
