I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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