people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He has the fingertips of a God
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