She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
