no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
