I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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