try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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