Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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