Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
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I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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