I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
