It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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