Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
