you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
