can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
