ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
