one might say we're banned from that church
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
