First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
