dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
