walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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