I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
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