Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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