And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
