Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
