can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
