ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
