I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize