Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
