dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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