I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
