matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
MIDGETS
????
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
