I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Non-Jews are for practice
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
