Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
