I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
