i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
