Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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