Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
