im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
