Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
