My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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