I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
