I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
