Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
