So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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