can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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