I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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