You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
