apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
