just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
