So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
