I think my vagina is haunted
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
